Confessions of a Domestic Failure

Confessions of a Domestic Failure Author Bunmi Laditan
ISBN-10 9781488022883
Release 2017-05-01
Pages 400
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Instant Bestseller From the creator of The Honest Toddler comes a fiction debut sure to be a must-read for moms everywhere There are good moms and bad moms—and then there are hot-mess moms. Introducing Ashley Keller, career girl turned stay-at-home mom who's trying to navigate the world of Pinterest-perfect, Facebook-fantastic and Instagram-impressive mommies but failing miserably. When Ashley gets the opportunity to participate in the Motherhood Better boot camp run by the mommy-blog-empire maven she idolizes, she jumps at the chance to become the perfect mom she's always wanted to be. But will she fly high or flop? With her razor-sharp wit and knack for finding the funny in everything, Bunmi Laditan creates a character as flawed and lovable as Bridget Jones or Becky Bloomwood while hilariously lambasting the societal pressures placed upon every new mother. At its heart, Ashley's story reminds moms that there's no way to be perfect, but many ways to be great.



Confessions Of A Domestic Failure

Confessions Of A Domestic Failure Author Bunmi Laditan
ISBN-10 9781474069373
Release 2017-05-01
Pages 384
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Confessions Of A Domestic Failure has been writing in one form or another for most of life. You can find so many inspiration from Confessions Of A Domestic Failure also informative, and entertaining. Click DOWNLOAD or Read Online button to get full Confessions Of A Domestic Failure book for free.



Confessions Of A Domestic Failure

Confessions Of A Domestic Failure Author Bunmi Laditan
ISBN-10 9781489241818
Release 2017-05-01
Pages 336
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From the creator of The Honest Toddler comes a fiction debut sure to be a must-read for mums everywhere There are good mums and bad mums — and then there are hot-mess mums. Introducing Ashley Keller, career girl turned stay-at-home mum who’s trying to navigate the world of Pinterest-perfect, Facebook-fantastic and Instagram-impressive mommies but failing miserably. When Ashley gets the opportunity to participate in the Motherhood Better boot camp run by the mummy-blog-empire maven she idolises, she jumps at the chance to become the perfect mum she’s always wanted to be. But will she fly high or flop? With her razor-sharp wit and knack for finding the funny in everything, Bunmi Laditan creates a character as flawed and lovable as Bridget Jones or Becky Bloomwood while hilariously lambasting the societal pressures placed upon every new mother. At its heart, Ashley’s story reminds mums that there's no way to be perfect, but many ways to be great.



Toddlers Are A holes

Toddlers Are A  holes Author Bunmi Laditan
ISBN-10 9780761185758
Release 2015-04-07
Pages 176
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Toddler a**holery is a normal part of human development—not unlike puberty, except this stage involves throwing food on the floor and taking swings at people who pay your way in life. For parents of toddlers, it's a "you better laugh so you don't cry" period. Bunmi Laditan's hilarious, satirical guide to toddlerhood offers parents instant (and very welcome) comic relief—along with the very good news that "It's Not Your Fault." Chapters cover the cost of raising a toddler, feeding your toddler, potty-training, tantrums, how to manage the holidays, and "how not to die inside." Parents will see themselves in the very funny sections on taking your toddler to restaurants ("One parent will spend their time walking your toddler around the restaurant and outside like a cocker spaniel, while the other, luckier parent will eat alone."), Things You Thought You'd Never Say That You Now Say As a Parent of a Toddler ("I can tell you're pooping because your eyes are watering."), and how to order pizza ("Spend $40 on pizza delivery. Listen to your toddler cry for 30 minutes about how the pizza is all wrong. Watch your toddler take a small bite of crust. Google 'can anger give you a heart attack?' Start the bedtime routine."). Laditan's wildly funny voice has attracted hundreds of thousands of fans of Honest Toddler on social media; here she speaks parent-to-tired-parent, easing the pains and challenges of raising toddlers with a hefty dose of adult humor and wit.



Sh tty Mum

Sh tty Mum Author Mary Ann Zoellner
ISBN-10 9781444755213
Release 2012-09-13
Pages 224
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Children. They want everything and they want it now. They don't care about killing your sex life or the way they add six inches to the length of your breasts, and they sure as hell don't give a sh*t that you only slept four hours last night. Any person, physical need or dream that takes you away from them for even five seconds is their natural enemy and must be crushed with loud, endless cries. This book is about how to survive babies, and what they grow into: children. It's about shortcuts and parenting with 40% effort. You'll learn how to ignore, avoid, threaten and lie in easy-to-skim-while-locked-in-the-bathroom mini-chapters, plus valuable 'How to Fake it' tips to help you through those days when there isn't enough sh*tty advice in the world. We get you. We get your little dictators. And we can help.



Confessions of a Scary Mommy

Confessions of a Scary Mommy Author Jill Smokler
ISBN-10 9781451673784
Release 2012-04-03
Pages 176
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Sometimes I just let my children fall asleep in front of the TV. In a culture that idealizes motherhood, it’s scary to confess that, in your house, being a mother is beautiful and dirty and joyful and frustrating all at once. Admitting that it’s not easy doesn’t make you a bad mom; at least, it shouldn’t. If I can’t survive my daughter as a toddler, how the hell am I going to get through the teenage years? When Jill Smokler was first home with her small children, she thought her blog would be something to keep friends and family updated. To her surprise, she hit a chord in the hearts of mothers everywhere. I end up doing my son’s homework. It’s wrong, but so much easier. Total strangers were contributing their views on that strange reality called motherhood. As other women shared their stories, Jill realized she wasn’t alone in her feelings of exhaustion and imperfection. My eighteen month old still can’t say “Mommy” but used the word “shit” in perfect context. But she sensed her readers were still holding back, so decided to start an anonymous confessional, a place where real moms could leave their most honest thoughts without fearing condemnation. I pretend to be happy but I cry every night in the shower. The reactions were amazing: some sad, some pee-in-your-pants funny, some brutally honest. But they were real, not a commercial glamorization. I clock out of motherhood at 8 P.M. and hide in the basement with my laptop and a beer. If you’re already a fan, lock the bathroom door on your whining kids, run a bubble bath, and settle in. If you’ve not encountered Scary Mommy before, break out a glass of champagne as well, because you’ll be toasting your initiation into a select club. I know why some animals eat their young. In chapters that cover husbands (The Biggest Baby of Them All) to homework (Didn’t I Already Graduate?), Confessions of a Scary Mommy combines all-new essays from Jill with the best of the anonymous confessions. Sometimes I wish my son was still little—then I hear kids screaming at the store. As Jill says, “We like to paint motherhood as picture perfect. A newborn peacefully resting on his mother’s chest. A toddler taking tentative first steps into his mother’s loving arms. A mother fluffing her daughter’s prom dress. These moments are indeed miraculous and joyful; they can also be few and far between.” Of course you adore your kids. Of course you would lay down your life for them. But be honest now: Have you ever wondered what possessed you to sign up for the job of motherhood? STOP! DO NOT OPEN THIS BOOK UNTIL YOU RECITE THESE VOWS! I shall remember that no mother is perfect and my children will thrive because, and sometimes even in spite, of me. I shall not preach to a fellow mother who has not asked my opinion. It’s none of my damn business. I shall maintain a sense of humor about all things motherhood.



W h ine

W h ine Author Jennifer Todryk
ISBN-10 9781631063350
Release 2017-04-18
Pages 128
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This isn't your ordinary wine pairing book--this is wine pairing for the weary parent! Did your daughter just get out of bed for the twelfth time to ask for a glass of water? We've got the perfect ros� for your sanity. Did your son just have a meltdown in the middle of the grocery store? We've got a Pinot for your pain. Has your child's math homework left you in a state of total depression? Try a Syrah to get you out of that funk. W(h)ine includes fifty perfect pairings to match your child's perfectly rotten behavior! You'll also discover the best ways to open a wine bottle without a corkscrew (hint: use a shoe). As a bonus, each wine featured in the book comes with a sticker, so every time you sample a wine to match a rotten behavior, go ahead and add it to the Periodic Table of W(h)ine that folds out of the book. The sticker groupings will help you determine if your child has behavior problems, attitude problems, or just plain bad DNA! So whether you like your "juice" from the glass, the bottle, or the box, this is the perfect book to wine your way through the joys of day-to-day parenting.



The Mommy Shorts Guide to Remarkably Average Parenting

The Mommy Shorts Guide to Remarkably Average Parenting Author Ilana Wiles
ISBN-10 9781613123287
Release 2016-09-27
Pages 224
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Ilana Wiles is not a good mother. She’s not a bad mother either. Like most of us, she’s normal. From the creator of the wildly popular blog Mommy Shorts comes Ilana Wiles’s first humor book on remarkably average parenting. If you want solid advice about raising kids, this book is not for you. If you want to wallow in your own misery about how having kids is AWFUL, this book is not for you. This book pays homage to the every-parent and suggests that they are the people having the best child-rearing experience of all. Using Wiles’s signature infographics and photographs to illustrate her personal and hilarious essays on motherhood, the book is an honest guide that celebrates the fun of being a mom.



The Good Mother Myth

The Good Mother Myth Author Avital Norman Nathman
ISBN-10 9781580055031
Release 2013-12-31
Pages 224
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In an era of mommy blogs, Pinterest, and Facebook, The Good Mother Myth dismantles the social media–fed notion of what it means to be a “good mother.” This collection of essays takes a realistic look at motherhood and provides a platform for real voices and raw stories, each adding to the narrative of motherhood we don’t tend to see in the headlines or on the news. From tales of mind-bending, panic-inducing overwhelm to a reflection on using weed instead of wine to deal with the terrible twos, the honesty of the essays creates a community of mothers who refuse to feel like they’re in competition with others, or with the notion of the ideal mom—they’re just trying to find a way to make it work. With a foreword by Christy Turlington Burns and a contributor list that includes Jessica Valenti, Sharon Lerner, Soraya Chemaly, Amber Dusick, and many more, this remarkable collection seeks to debunk the myth and offer honest perspectives on what it means to be a mother.



Mommy Needs a Raise Because Quitting s Not an Option

Mommy Needs a Raise  Because Quitting s Not an Option Author Sarah Parshall Perry
ISBN-10 9781493404155
Release 2016-07-05
Pages 256
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Goodbye, Board Room and Legal Briefs--Hello, Dimples, Diapers, and Destruction Women know that raising children will be different from climbing the corporate ladder. But nothing can truly prepare them for the mind-muddling world of motherhood. It doesn't take long for a new mom to question whether her tyrannical, diapered boss really understands her value to the organization. Because honestly? She's not always sure herself. With her signature wit, lawyer-turned-full-time-mommy Sarah Parshall Perry says what all new moms are thinking when they trade annual reports for homework help and yoga pants. Perry invites moms to laugh alongside her amidst the "Are you kidding me?!" moments that come with the job of raising humans. This book is story of every mother who gives up one thing to get something better--and ends up finding out what she's worth along the way.



Not Working

Not Working Author Lisa Owens
ISBN-10 9780812988826
Release 2016-05-03
Pages 256
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In the tradition of Jennifer Close’s Girls in White Dresses comes a “a pin-sharp, utterly addictive debut” (Vogue U.K.) told in vignettes that speak to a new generation not trying to have it all but hoping to make sense of it all. “Everyone’s been talking about this book. . . . Charming and funny, this read is simply delightful.”—Bustle “A deadpan comic debut for the procrastination generation.”—The Guardian Claire Flannery has just quit her office job, hoping to take some time to discover her real passion. The problem is, she’s not exactly sure how to go about finding it. Without the distractions of a regular routine, Claire confronts the best and worst parts of herself: the generous, attentive part that visits her grandmother for tea and cooks special meals for her boyfriend, Luke, and the part that she feels will never measure up and makes regrettable comments after too many glasses of wine. What emerges is a candid, moving portrait of a clear-eyed heroine trying to forge her own way, a wholly relatable character whose imperfections and uncanny observations highlight what makes us all different and yet inescapably linked. Praise for Not Working “Ruefully funny . . . features a kind of millennial Bridget Jones whose red wine–and–TED Talk–fueled pursuit of a higher purpose in life leads to hard truths and hangovers.”—Vogue “In this laugh-out-loud debut, Claire Flannery is a lost soul who quits her day job to discover her true passion. In taking a hard look at her own character, Claire finds that her loveable qualities are sometimes squashed by mistakes, like the evenings she blurts inappropriate remarks after too many glasses of wine. [Lisa] Owens’s story is a smart, relatable and delicious debut.”—Harper’s Bazaar “It’s no mean feat to fashion a novel out of the stuff of everyday life. . . . Fortunately, Owens is quite a writer. . . . Not Working works because there is lots going on beneath its placid, ordinary surface. . . . With this funny, serious debut, Lisa Owens has proved that she’s one to watch.”—The New Statesman “There are sharp observations about generational change, particularly on the topic of work. . . . The novel is a light read but it raises some timely issues. . . . A secure job with a future is not that easy to find, as Claire’s comic and compelling tale serves to show. This book offers a form of catharsis for anyone who has felt that they are not quite doing their job right. . . . It is soothing to find you are not the only one noodling along in your career.”—Financial Times “Stellar . . . [Owens has an] ability to take the potentially trite problem-of-the-privileged trope and deftly craft it into readable fun.”—Publishers Weekly “Owens offers a millennial take on the traditional British chick-lit heroine. . . . Claire is a realistically awkward character who will appeal to readers looking for a less-angsty take on the new adult trend.”—Booklist “A novel as insightful about the contemporary dilemmas facing young professionals as it is sharp, incisive and laugh-out-loud funny.”—The Observer “Lots of people say they laugh out loud when they read a book they love. But in the case of Not Working, I really did laugh out loud, often and raucously.”—Elisabeth Egan, author of A Window Opens From the Hardcover edition.



The Fab Mom s Guide

The Fab Mom s Guide Author Jill Simonian
ISBN-10 9781510715189
Release 2017-04-04
Pages 256
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Bouncing back fast after having a baby is absolutely possible for anyone! Affectionately known as The FAB Mom on-air and online, Jill Simonian uses her trusted and entertaining expertise to set expecting and new moms on a distinctive, no-frills journey to help them “get over the bump” and bounce back fast after having a baby. Jill’s frank tricks, somewhat against-the-grain tips, and laugh-out-loud tales involving famous names provide first-time moms a unique roadmap for managing and conquering the lifestyle challenges a newborn often brings. The FAB Mom’s Guide offers a motivational style and practical solutions to inform, inspire, and empower even the most uncertain of new moms. From hanging an oversized mirror in your kitchen to opting out of nursing to spending entire days wearing only your underwear and beyond, Jill Simonian can help a new mother get organized, have fun, and feel in-control, happy, and reinvented within six months of having a baby. Encouraging women to tune out the drama and arming them with useful talk and tools to minimize exhaustion and maximize focus, Jill uncovers and reshapes the status quo for how FAB (an acronym for: Focused After Babies) a new mom’s sense of self and life can truly be.



Math Geek

Math Geek Author Raphael Rosen
ISBN-10 9781440583810
Release 2015-06-18
Pages 256
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The new "sine" of mathematical geekdom! Do you dream about long division in your sleep? Does the thought of solving abstruse equations bring a smile to your face? Do you love celebrating pi every March? Then, Math Geek was made for you! With this guide, you'll learn even more about the power of numbers as you explore their brilliant nature in ways you've never imagined. From manhole covers to bubbles to subway maps, each page gives you a glimpse of the world through renowned mathematicians' eyes and reveals how their theorems and equations can be applied to nearly everything you encounter. Covering dozens of your favorite math topics, you'll find fascinating answers to questions like: How are the waiting times for buses determined? Why is Romanesco Broccoli so mesmerizing? How do you divide a cake evenly? Should you run or walk to avoid rain showers? Filled with compelling mathematical explanations, Math Geek sheds light on the incredible world of numbers hidden deep within your day-to-day life.



The Big Bed

The Big Bed Author Bunmi Laditan
ISBN-10 0374301239
Release 2018-02-06
Pages 32
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The Big Bed has been writing in one form or another for most of life. You can find so many inspiration from The Big Bed also informative, and entertaining. Click DOWNLOAD or Read Online button to get full The Big Bed book for free.



The Honest Toddler

The Honest Toddler Author Bunmi Laditan
ISBN-10 1443423084
Release 2014-04-07
Pages 256
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When you love someone, accept them as they are--pants or no pants. The toddler stage can be a rude awakening for parents. Seemingly overnight, their sweet infants morph into tyrants whose iron will is matched only by their adorability. One minute they're saying "I love you"; the next minute, delivering an unexpected slap to your face. Parents aren't blameless though--toddlers have their own grievances. They just don't express them "with their words," whatever that means. But finally, after minutes of horror, they have The Honest Toddler to speak on their behalf. Who better to instruct parents on the needs of toddlers than an actual toddler who can authoritatively spell out preferred foods (fishy crackers, stat), sleep training methods (hint: none), and the proper response to bananas with strings (complete collapse). With a voice that is at once inimitable and universal, The Honest Toddler has built a loyal following of parents laughing through their tears as they recognize their own child in the shenanigans of one bravely honest tot.



You re Doing a Great Job 100 Ways You re Winning at Parenting

You re Doing a Great Job   100 Ways You re Winning at Parenting Author Biz Ellis
ISBN-10 9781682680063
Release 2017-04-18
Pages 208
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Stop feeling like sh*t for being a mom—laugh-out-loud affirmations for every parent Guess what? This “parenting book” is not designed to make new parents feel bad. Authors and co-hosts of the popular comedy podcast One Bad Mother, Biz Ellis and Theresa Thorn, know firsthand that raising kids is tough. They also know that, most likely, parents are winning more than they’re failing. This book reminds parents that it’s okay to have a low bar. Celebrate what did happen, not what didn’t, including gems such as: Did you get up this morning? Great! You’re doing an awesome job! Your kid fell asleep? Even if it was just for two hours, that’s amazing. Good job! Has your kid eaten? That’s probably your doing, so yeah, you’re a winner! The perfect gift for the growing family, You Are Doing a Great Job! is the much-needed reminder to screw all expectations and advice. It belongs on the shelf next to Go the Fu*k to Sleep and Let’s Panic About Babies. Or better yet, tear out the pages and hang them up.



Let s Pretend This Never Happened

Let s Pretend This Never Happened Author Jenny Lawson
ISBN-10 9781101573082
Release 2012-04-17
Pages 384
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From the New York Times bestselling author of Furiously Happy... When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it. In the irreverent Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson’s long-suffering husband and sweet daughter help her uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments—the ones we want to pretend never happened—are the very same moments that make us the people we are today. For every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the dark, disturbing, yet wonderful moments of our lives. Includes a new chapter! Readers Guide Inside From the Trade Paperback edition.